From HoverCloud

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Appeared in Court with Michael

Today Phillip and I appeared in Juvenile Court with Michael. If you've been reading Phillip's Journal (http://fellupon.com/journal/archives/73-Friday.html) lately you know that Michael ran away from the group home where he has been living for the past 4 or 5 months. It was a good place, and we felt Michael was making a lot of progress there. They were giving him anger management classes and substance abuse classes, as well as some counselling, all in a highly structured environment. Michael was probably going to get out of there in April, once he got through with the program, and come home to us, and it's a pity he couldn't wait. Now he has likely messed up his chance to come home for a while.

We went ahead, however, and told his lawyer that we are now willing to have him return home to us. This is different from what we were saying in early 2005 (see Michael's Outburst), when we felt the best place for him was not at our home. We just couldn't keep him under control well enough, and his attitude and behavior were just too confrontational. We feel his attitude has changed, and that he is now more likely to appreciate what we are offering him (ie. a family, more than just a place to live). Maybe now he might be able to maintain his place in our home better, because of his improved attitude and maturity. We can't be sure until we give it another try.

Unfortunately he did not send a good message to the court by running away from the group home, and the result of today's hearing is that he will be detained at Juvenile Hall for at least 3 weeks while the proper course of action is decided. There is another court date scheduled for March 2nd. He may then be allowed to return home. Phillip and I should certainly prepare for the possibility, by figuring out exactly how we will do things differently this time. He needs more structure and needs independent home study rather than attending high school. A high school just offers him way too many opportunities to mess up, because it is not structured enough. When he gets too much freedom he tends to make bad choices. But it's also possible that he will be placed in another out-of-home placement. If that happens, there will be a longer wait before he can try out living at home again.

So it looks like we'll be visiting with him a little more often, since he is closer. But with Juvenile Hall there won't be any at-home weekend visits like those that were possible when he was at the Excel Center. The Hall is a pretty safe place for a kid to be, the kids there really can't get away with a whole lot. They keep them under very tight control. We got to sit with him while waiting to going into the court room, but once we parted, he knew he would be searched before returning to his unit inside. Anything we give him when we visit is going to be well-scrutinized, and basically all they are allowed to have inside is reading material, letters, photos, and a deck of cards.

Michael wasn't pleased that he'll be spending the next 3 weeks or so in there. He finds it pretty boring. It's probably a good thing that he is getting more time in there tough. It would send him the wrong message if he were to be rewarded for taking off from the group home by getting to come back home to us (where he gets substantially more freedom). He needs to learn about the consequences of his actions and that there is something bigger than him (ie. the law) that can require his compliance with a certain basic set of rules for living.

He's going to be 17 in May, so the amount of time we have to help him is getting short. He's got potential and he knows what he needs to do. But as an adult he will run into much greater consequences for his actions if he has not been able to improve his behavior and learn to make better decisions by then. I hope he can do it.

Go on to August 2005